Power of Prayer

Many of you may or may not remember that in November our sweet Doo had four unexplained seizures. While my husband and I do believe we know the cause of the seizures now, at the time we did not and were overwhelmed with anxiety, worry and sheer exhaustion at the thought of having two children with seizure disorders. I had many friends calling to pray with me and encouraging me and all the while I was thinking to myself that at least God in His infinite wisdom placed my Doo with me...a mom that knew seizures. However, I didn't want that life for her. I don't want it for my Bug. I want to keep both of my children from suffering any kind of pain...and in those few days I felt as though I had been hit with more than I could possibly handle...

It's amazing to me to hear people say the comment that, "God will never give you more than you can handle." I have never liked it, but understood where they were taking it from. (1 Corinthians 10:13) I do believe that it has been taken out of context and I do believe that God will allow you to be given things that you can't handle. Katie Davis talks about the same things in her book Kisses from Katie. I will tell you though, God has to come to me every single morning and allow me the strength to be Bug's mother...because on my own I can't do it. Only through Him do I have the ability to make it through one day of carrying a 45 pound 4 1/2 year old, to watch her have 8-10 seizures a day, making it through multiple therapy sessions each day, being hit and bit because of her need for sensory input and listening to a great deal of fussing to have her point made, struggling to figure out how to get her to eat because of texture issues, not being able to go to certain places because of the amount of people. So...my point is that God will give you more than YOU can handle...because HE can do it through you. He is mighty. MIGHTY.

Those few days watching my Doo have seizures while continuing to see my Bug have seizures were trying. I prayed harder than I had in a long time. For both of my children.

I came home following a very difficult encounter with a nurse practitioner over that weekend in November of 2011 and just laid it out before the Lord honestly. I begged and pleaded with Him. I cried. The ugly, mother cry. Asking Him to give me something. Anything. I needed to know that He was listening. Listening to me. I didn't have to know He was going to heal either one of my children. He doesn't have to do so for me to love Him or serve Him. I just needed to know my prayers were being heard.

I was lead that 13th day of November to Psalm 13.

Lord, how long must I wait? Will you forget me forever?
How long will you turn your face away from me?
How long must I struggle with my thoughts?
How long must my heart be sad day after day?
How long will my enemies keep winning the battle over me?
Lord my God, look at me and answer me.
Give me new life, or I will die.
Then my enemies will say, "We have beaten him."
They will be filled with joy when I die.
But I trust in your faithful LOVE.
My heart is filled with joy because you will save me.
I will sing to the LORD.

I will be honest. I don't know if I have ever cried as hard as I did after I finished reading. I asked for it, and He answered and gave it to me. I read this to friends, family and even our family pediatrician...each time they cried with me. They all felt the Spirit. God's name was glorified through the whole horrible ordeal...and I was able to understand the power of prayer and the power of HIS great love for His children.

My Doo has not had a seizure since. All test came back normal. I don't believe that she will ever have another seizure. She is my perky, loveable, goofy little Doo! My Bug continues to have seizures here on earth...and the Lord may or may not one day choose to heal her. I do know for certain that if not here...in heaven in our true HOME..He will. I will talk, run, skip, sing and REJOICE with my Bug...but for now her laugh, smile, way she says mama, incredible hugs and sheer joy for life is what I keep sacred!

I am loved by the King. Loved by my husband and loved by two incredibly miraculous little girls...BLESSED I am.

Much love,
~K