The Storms

Seasons of hard are inevitable in life. Perhaps, you find yourself in a season of hard. They are guaranteed to come and go. I do find that I learn more about myself and about Jesus in the hardest seasons. I won’t lie and say that I enjoy them, but I do believe they refine my faith in a way that seasons of joy do not. Romans 5:3-5 says, Not only so, but we also glory in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope. And hope does not put us to shame, because God’s love has been poured out into our hearts through the Holy Spirit, who has been given to us. Those words are true indeed, but I struggle to wrap my heart around them often. I do my all to show my gratitude for the joyful moments…but I certainly do not spend as much time in prayer or in the word in seasons where things are settled. I believe God allows some things to come into our life to truly pull us and draw us unto Himself. With that said, I don’t believe that God causes things to happen, life does that, our sinful world and nature do that. 

We are in a season of hard. Just when we thought we were getting our head above water a bit with our sweet Bug the difficulty came and boy has it hit hard again. She is casted on her leg to the middle of her thigh. This wouldn’t be a fun time for any child…but let me now paint a picture for you… imagine you are unable to verbalize your needs and wants and limited already with the inability to walk and now your leg is broken and you’ve lost the freedom to crawl to what you want and the inability to sit up on your own. You are stuck. In a wheelchair, on the couch or on a bean bag. You can’t swing in your swing outside because your foot hits the ground in the cast, you can’t swim and play in the water, you can’t be outside for too long or you get so hot and you begin to itch and can’t help yourself. If you want a toy, a specific person, a drink or a snack—you can’t go get it—it’s out of your reach—so what do you do? Well, in our Bug’s case she screams/whines/cries a good 80% of the time while at home. While we understand where these emotions are coming from I can’t truly share how tiring it becomes on our entire family to listen to. This summer, due to this cast, we have also returned to requiring a two-person lift. This has us relying on my incredible momma a great deal and while we are eternally grateful to God for allowing us to have her help—I can’t lie and say we are not both physically worn out from all of the lifting. I share all of this to give you a mental picture of where I was when Jesus spoke to me.

Yesterday morning I was out on our deck swinging and drinking coffee long before anyone else in my house was awake. To enjoy the quiet and time with Jesus…both a commodity I haven’t had much of in these last few days. As I was out there in the quiet morning, I glanced at our neighbors’ roof and there was a sparrow sitting and I began watching him. Quietly I felt the Holy Spirit whisper into my heart, “I see you. I see that sparrow. I am watching. I see you.” Then the words of the hymn “His Eye is on the Sparrow” were ushered into my heart. It was a precious moment with Jesus that I treasured. Yet as the day went on, I struggled to see how He could watch what was going on and not step in and stop it. Obviously He couldn't be. So, I went to bed tired, frustrated in pain and if I’m honest I was angry at God.

This morning once again that sparrow was brought to my attention as I awoke still frustrated, tired and angry. I felt the Holy Spirit place these words in my heart: God doesn’t stop the storms for the sparrow. They come. They come again and again. Yet our great big God never takes His eyes off of that sparrow. He doesn’t stop the storms for that sparrow or for us friend. Again, the Lord brought the lyrics to me, Why should I feel discouraged? Why should the shadows come? Why should my heart feel lonely? And long for heaven and home? When Jesus is my portion, a constant friend is He. His eye is on the sparrow and I know he watches over me.

He doesn’t stop the storms. The storms will keep coming. Taking cover under Him is the only way to survive this world.  He is our constant friend. In those darkest hours when I am grieving, He really is the only way to make it out of the storm or to keep my hope when the storm never stops. Allowing Him to mold me, change me and strip me of those thoughts that life is meant to be easy. We have a constant friend walking alongside of us, watching and experiencing our pain with us. A friend that truly understands in a way no other human will ever be able to compare. He can become someone entirely new to you when you're in the storms.

God doesn’t stop the storms from coming in life. He can, however, calm the storm within me. My soul clings to you; your right hand upholds me. Psalm 63:8

Much love friends. As always, if I can be praying for you in any way. You know how to reach me.