Nine Years

Nine Years. I've been married to my very best friend for nine years. We've been by each other’s side for over ten years. There is not one living soul in the world that knows me like he does and would still really be fond of me. Seriously-- I snore a little (I say that I don’t but I do), I talk way too much, I’m too bossy…perhaps persnickety is a more appealing word, I change my mind all the time, you always know what’s on my mind—because I tell you…but HE loves me. Oh, there are things about him too—don’t get me wrong…he never remembers anything that I ask him to get at the store –even if I’ve put it on a grocery list, he tells jokes that only he finds comical and expects a laugh (which I always do), he NEVER puts the toilet paper on the dispenser, he leaves his beard shavings all over the bathroom sink for me to clean up, and he always forgets to take out the kitchen trash on trash day—even if he was reminded that morning. Oh, but how I love him.

We may argue and we may spat, but the simple fact of the matter is that in him is where my story began. He holds in him every memory that I treasure. Without him…there is no us. Without us…there is no family. I think too often in a marriage people become stuck in a rut that you believe you can’t get out of, or you forget to go to God…and HE is the key to all your struggles. Before Boy had his heart attack/rheumatic fever/coronary spasms we were feeling a little overwhelmed with life in general. Here I am a mom of two beautiful girls that had just returned from the most incredible emotional and spiritual mountain top--a retreat with 250+ adoptive mothers who get where my heart is on orphan care and I return home to my sweet husband who’d been home with my girls and he is exhausted mentally, physically, emotionally and most of all spiritually. What we both came to realize after the hospital stay and a great deal of talking through things and prayer was that he was tired…of the everyday grind….of the chaos and the constant “norm” of everything. We needed a “wake-up” if you will in our marriage. That is what we are setting out to do!

I think we are like "Fred & Ethel" because truthfully, he is getting so crotchety these days (he'd even tell you that) and I have to be honest I am ditsy just like her and would fall for fly-brain ideas--their just SO us!! We are making it a priority to spend more time alone. More time making sure we get our date night in! The biggest thing is making sure we remember that our marriage comes first.

This is a sad world that we live in, a world where 50% of marriages end in divorce. 50%. If you tack on the other 85% that end in divorce just due to the daily pressures of having special needs children…it can easily overwhelm you. I can honestly say that I know we are stronger in our marriage for the things that the Lord has allowed us to face, now that we are on the other side of them. I’ve said before that I obviously would love to see my Bug be healed of her seizures and autism, I am her mother and that is the cry of my heart…but I do know that I would not want to be the woman I was prior to her diagnosis. I would not be where I am with the Lord and where I am in my relationship with my husband had it not been so. We became a stronger union.

I am so grateful for the gift of my husband. God so richly blessed me. He is the better part of me and I really can’t picture a world where he wasn’t the leader of our household.

Colossians 3:18-19 “Wives, submit to your husbands, as is fitting for those who belong to the Lord. Husbands, love your wives and never treat them harshly.”

Much love,
~K