To define the word mother and child is perhaps one of the most challenging of chores to ever be given. Honestly, no one gave me that job-I felt led to define it for personal reasons. I am the mother of two beautiful little girls. These miracles were gifts to me from God...His children placed in my trust to raise in His image to know Him, serve Him and spread His message of hope, love and truth. You see...my current frustration stems from a comment of ignorance out of the mouths of so very many people...the comment of, "Could you not have any of your own children?" or "Do you not want your own children?" and recently the most ignorant comment "It isn't the same though."
Why is there a need to place a difference? The bond is the same. Mother and Child.
So my quest in this post is to define mother and child. Security, prayer, acceptance, love, time, affection, attention, safety, and education are all qualities that we equate with a mother and her child. Kissing ouchies, fixing my girls hair, making favorite snacks, washing endless amounts of laundry, changing countless diapers, being a bean bag for a child who is feeling puny, getting up all night long with little ones teething. All of these things a mother does for her child.
I can remember bringing my Bug home from the hospital as a premie...they let her leave weighing 4 lbs. 10 oz. she was so little. I heard every sound she made. I knew that she was hungry before she ever woke to cry. My hubbs said it was as though she and I were bonded instantly. Even now, I can sense when she is having a seizure two rooms away...there is no blood between us...there is something more powerful...LOVE. I am her mother.
When we went to pick up our daughter Doo, our sweet foster family handed her to us in a Christmas stocking. (sweet right?) When she was placed in my arms she looked up at me and smiled. She didn't do that immediately with any of our other family and she was only 5 weeks old. She continued to smile at me in the car ride home...her bond with me was instantaneous. I am her mother.
I believe one definition I read defines mother as, "a woman who has raised a child in the role of parent." Wow, what a definition! A whole lot of thought went into that. The simple fact of the matter is this: I was bothered the most recently by the comment, "It isn't the same." I can sit here all day and argue with you that it is...but I haven't given birth...the truth of the matter is I honestly do not need to. My hearts deepest desire was to be a MOTHER and that was fulfilled...oh, glory be was it ever!! Adoption for my hubbs and I was the most amazing experience that I could ever talk to you about! There were hills, mountains, valleys...yes, even molehills (whatever those really are)...but it was WORTH IT!!!
There is nothing that will ever separate me from my daughters. My love for them is deep and pure. My heart beats for these two little girls. They are the hubbs and I's world. God called us to parent them to raise them in His image...and that is what we are doing our very best to do. I KNOW without a shadow of a doubt that when He formed them in the womb...He knew that I was their mother and Boy (my hubbs nickname) was their father.
Oh, what a sweet feeling that is to know...it is my fervent prayer that other people will one day know that same joy we experienced! That they may see that we are all called to adoption in one form or fashion and that the Bible speaks so very clearly about that fact:
"You are the helper of the fatherless. LORD, You have heard the desire of the humble; You will prepare their heart; You will cause Your ear to hear, To do justice to the fatherless and the oppressed, That the man of the earth may oppress no more."
Psalms 10:14,17-18
"Father to the fatherless, defender of widows — this is God, whose dwelling is holy. God places the lonely in families." Psalms 68:5-6
I am a mother...blessed beyond my wildest dreams by the miracle of adoption. My family was radically transformed when we answered HIS call! I know my girls are His! I know that their is no difference in our bond. I defined it in my heart a long, long time ago. I pray that I have defined it for you.
Much love,
~K
Blessed and Adored
Amen!! I completely agree.
ReplyDeleteKandra,
ReplyDeleteWell said! As a mother who has birthed children and adopted children, I can tell you that it is the same! I have the same overwhelming love for all four of my children.
I was fortunate to be there to see you and Layla when you met. You are right, that precious baby looked at you and smiled the sweetest smile. She knew that she was finally with her mommy. I can't tell you how grateful I am that God gave Layla such a wonderful home. Sometimes I worry about our foster babies. Sometimes I worry about them bonding with their new family. I have never worried about Laya one minute!
And let's just clarify that her foster mommas were mother and daughter. The rest of the family couldn't come that day.
Tricia
you hit the nail on the head!! people do say things out of pure ignorance, and it always makes me sad for them. i just don't understand why they feel the need to say anything...i always hope i was able to plant some small seed in their hearts that God will use to help them understand HIS love. as a momma to biological and adopted children, i can absolutely attest that while my children are all unique in their own ways, i LOVE them all in the same MOTHERLY way....they are all mine. when nate was teeny tiny, and i would rock him to sleep, sometimes he would just stare into my eyes. it would always make me cry b/c i knew God was bonding us heart to heart, and it just seemed like nate knew and understood something way beyond his infancy....such a precious gift from God:)!! you are a precious mommy to your girls!! love!
ReplyDeletePlaying catch-up on your blog. :-) You know I see women become mothers all the time. I've been in lots of different "delivery rooms", but my favorites are usually found somewhere in the Agape offices. So glad I got to be in yours!
ReplyDelete