Listening to Him speak...

I'll begin this post with the explanation that I am daily seeking God.  I am definitely not where I should be or could be, but I am thankful that He found me when He did and that today I was able to see Him confirming what I believe to be the Holy Spirit speaking to me.

Two weeks ago we were put into a situation with a birth mother and the possibility of adopting a baby boy.  Many things have happened that we know God has placed us in this birth mother's life for a purpose.  She has a beautiful heart and has lived a life that literally makes me cry.  She truly isn't able to care for herself...much less a child...but she hasn't realized that yet.  We are still uncertain of the purpose and plan for her and her unborn baby boy....and exactly how we will be used.  For the past few days I was really frustrated with God and honestly didn't know why He would choose to place me in a situation that scared me, when I couldn't truly do anything about it.

This morning I voiced to my husband that I was going to continue to pray for the birth mother and the unborn child and simply be her friend, all while making the choice to have peace that His plan would come no matter what I did.  I had been so afraid for this precious unborn and feared the thought of him not being with us.  I later had my daily devotion and was not only floored and humbled...but grateful that God chose to remind me and uplift me of His purpose and plan for our lives, for this birth mother and for this precious unborn boy.

The Scripture was from 1 Peter 2:9-17 and it spoke to me.  The devotion discussed the fact that we often deem things good or bad simply due to the fact that they may not be what we think is right.  But when God determines what is good or bad,  He doesn't work according to our plans...He works according to how it accomplishes His.  The last paragraph of the devotion reminded me of His immense love for me...His child.  "To accomplish God’s good purpose, we are to respect all people, love other believers, fear God, and honor those who rule over us—even when something doesn’t seem good to us (v.17)." These kinds of actions may fan a spark of belief in those who observe our responses to “bad” circumstances and most of all bring praise to God.

There is a Dara Maclean song entitled "Yours Forever" that I have always loved but was reminded of when praying today.  The lyrics, "I'm with You, You're right beside me.  I feel You near right here to guide me."  I believe that God is truly reminding me that His plan is mighty and mine is miniscule. He loves this unborn boy, far greater than I am capable.  I must trust Him and sit back and watch His plan unfold.  This baby boy may be my son...but what I've realized is that I want God's perfect plan for His life and mine...more than I want to be this little one's mother.  THAT I believe is what God wants from each of us...to yearn for Him more than we seek Him for the desires of our hearts.

I will update you as this process comes along...but be in prayer for the birth mother...that she makes Christ-minded decisions and for the safety of this beautiful boy that will soon make his precious appearance into this world.

Blessings,
K