August...reclaimed.

 If you look for me wholeheartedly, you will find me. Jeremiah 29:13

Ever start to feel as though you are running on empty? As if you can't make it one more day?

I've been so confused and if I'm being honest--frustrated.  I always struggle in August.  It's been my least favorite month.  It's the anniversary month of our daughters diagnosis.  It's the month of new beginnings for many children starting school.  My heart hurts in August--it is the month in which the landscape of our family was changed forever.

Boy and I were watching old home movies this past weekend and we watched ourselves on our very first Christmas with Bug--so obliviously happy and filled with a kind of joy that one can't express in words.  We were parents of the most perfect creature ever made by God.  We had no clue of the coming diagnosis, doctors visits, hospital stays, therapy sessions, medication changes and life-threatening seizures and surgeries.  We were incandescently happy.

We are still the parents of the perfect creature. She is perfectly and wonderfully made.  What I'm realizing more and more...I'm the one who's so incredibly broken.  She is made in HIS image. HIS.  She is a daily reminder to me to seek Him...in ALL things.  He's always there--it's me who tends to run.  I don't have to run on empty.  He's there with an ever-steady hand of grace to fill me to the brim.  He's there each morning with a brand new supply of mercy! His love is truly relentless.

You will find Jesus in the details.  You will find Him in your pain.  You will find Him--when you are looking. I find Him residing in the dear friend that listens to my heart...over and over again, I find Him in the invitation to the park on a day that I honestly want to stay in bed and have a day of tears, I  find Him in the text message from a friend, a sister, who remembers that August isn't my favorite month, I find Him in the phone call from my brother telling me of a song I MUST hear, I find Him when we continue to get random cards from people we don't know reminding us that our child is being lifted in prayer, I find Him in my mom who is always here ready to do my laundry, my dishes, or keep my children....my friends, I find Him.  I FIND HIM!

I am reclaiming August.  August is the month that God decided to entrust us with the most amazing child--one who teaches us daily about the purpose of life and about who God is. August is the month God chose to remind us that HE is in control--not us.  August is the month that God gifted us with eyes eternal...