Dancing?

Some days are hard.  Some days parenting a child with significant needs leave you feeling overwhelmed and broken.  Incapable of doing the task at hand.  Incapable of finding a way to get past the frustration and guilt of the job you are doing. Those days...God often uses my Bug to teach me BIG lessons. 

Last week I had gotten out to run errands with Bug and Doo.  I'll be honest, it is WORK.  Every single second of an outing with Bug is work.  Sometimes she is happy to go along and others she's just a little cantankerous toot, a cute toot, but a toot nonetheless.  This day in particular, she was being delightfully loud.  Target customers were glancing at us on each aisle we walked down...but she was hollering joyfully and their dirty looks weren't going to get me down and invade my spirit on this Target adventure. 

We left still in wonderful spirits and headed on over to Wendy's for a little lunch with my mom, aka Baday.  On the way into Wendy's somehow Bug got bitten by a bug in three different places on her little face and had begun to be very fussy, rightfully so.  My mom had sat down with the girls while I was ordering their food.  A young couple in their 30's rolled their eyes and sighed large, heavy, obvious sighs and got up and moved away from where my mom and girls were sitting. 

I was filled with heartache and RAGE.  So irritated at the very thought of someone being unaccepting of the beautiful creature I call daughter. I was disheartened and thought to myself that if it isn't hard enough already to just be out and about, Lord, why must I deal with the ugly sad world too? Can't I be exempt?  The narrow minded souls that shop at Target and dine at Wendy's.... 

We left and headed home and I was still just so ill-gutted.  My favorite song on the radio right now is Overcomer by Mandissa.  It was coming on and I turned it up loud and proud in an attempt to bust out of my mood.  Doo was singing and dancing (quite adorably I will add) and then I turned to look at Bug and she was smiling brightly and bopping that sweet little head...and then her head dropped in a seizure....just as quickly as it started it had stopped....and then she was dancing and smiling...and then another seizure...followed by more dancing.  This repeated several times.

I had chills and big, huge salty tears in my eyes driving and then clearly heard the Lord speak to my heart, "Sweet child of mine, Bug dances through seizures.  Why aren't you dancing through your storms?" Talk about a smack in the face and an instant WAKE UP CALL.  She dances.  Through seizures.  She smiles.  Through seizures.  She LIVES. Through seizures.  Who am I to allow others to steal my joy?  She doesn't.  She dances.  She shouldn't have to dance alone! I must learn to perfect my dance.  Sorrow can't be a place I dwell.  Worry can't be a place I dwell.  Disappointments, diagnoses, trials, confusion and heartache....I can and WILL learn to DANCE through the storms.  Bug does.

God never promised in Scripture that we would have perfect lives because of our relationship with Him.  He promised the opposite.  I have told you these things, so that in Me you may have peace.  In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have OVERCOME the world. John 16:33 He did provide Himself to hold the burdens, the trials, the agony...so that we can dance through the storms. 

My Bug's life is so incredibly valuable.  She teaches me something about who Jesus is all the time.  She teaches me about what REAL JOY is.  She teaches me about the point of the journey.  To know Jesus, to allow others to see His JOY in us...by dancing through the storm.

Are you dancing?