Over and over this past weekend I felt the Lord telling me to long after Him. Seek Him. Search Him and know Him. Long for more of Him and His plan. Long for nothing less than what He desires for me. He reminded me that when I don't understand that I still get to choose Him. I must learn to wait. Wait for Him. I must make Christ the only true longing of my heart.
In a moment with God over the weekend, the following verses were given to me:
Psalm 25:3-4 "No one who hopes in you will ever be put to shame, but shame will come on those who are treacherous without cause. Show me your ways, Lord, teach me your paths."
Psalm 25:17 "Relieve the troubles of my heart and free me from my anguish."
Psalm 28:2 "Hear my cry for mercy as I call to you for help, as I lift up my hands toward your Most Holy Place."
I was humbled by the true realization that, while I've said many times that He hears us when we cry, this weekend I truly embraced that. My hope is in Him...for He hears my cries, my pleas, my praises. I won't be put to shame for my hope in Him.
I thought I had learned a great deal about who I am in Christ over these past few weeks, however, being surrounded by 450 adoptive moms whose hearts have been broken and torn into shreds in similar ways, but continue to have faith--was humbling. 450 women's voices in praise to God for the good and the bad...praise for Him and Him alone. God reminded me of my own words throughout the weekend--that we must remember that His glory is all that matters--even when it means that we are broken. God longed for me to realize that He sees me. He chose me. He loves me. He cries with me. He knows me. He likes me. My hurt, my anger, my sorrow, my frustration...He sees it all. Everything is in His hands. Even if it doesn't feel alright...if it's His plan it will be. He reminded me that I don't have to pretend to be strong, to be anything other than who I am. He sees me and He loves me. He knows the end of the picture and has His best for me. His best. Not my thoughts of what is best.
More than anything over this past weekend, I felt loved. I realized that I can't earn His love. Wherever I go...He goes. Nothing is hidden from Him. He sees me. I felt peace about the things that have troubled my soul...that I know that the Father gave to me.
"Come to me, I'm your everything. Keep your eyes on Me. I will not be shaken and I will not be moved. You are the truth and the way. Come to me, for I'm all that you need." -Jenn Johnson
Blessed and adored,
K
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