The perfect plan.

In the past few months, God has continually been reminding me that while something seems "godly" or "moral"...it doesn't mean that He has called me to do that specific thing, which I usually jump up and quickly say yes to.  I'm learning that many times I have caused my own pain.  I've been impatient and acted before seeking His will.  God has a plan...if only I could actually get that concept to resonate without experiencing pain.  When things aren't going the way that I feel/think that they should be... nine times out of ten that means I've strayed from His perfect plan.  I've wondered away on my own story line, all along thinking I was in His will.  (Will I ever learn?)

I'm learning that my only "plan" should be to seek Him diligently and to trust even when it's hard.  If it isn't His will for my life, do I really want it anyways?  I have cried out to God and begged God for things that I thought I wanted...but I never sought out Him, until the damage had already been done to my human heart when things didn't happen like I thought that they would. Sadly, I then went to God as if He'd done something wrong and purposely hurt me. Oi vey...I'm thankful for grace.   If I'd gone before Him before stepping up to the "godly" role I felt I was being called to--my heart might have been spared some of the agony.

Nevertheless, God uses every single thing in our lives, nothing is wasted.  I love how He uses my mistakes and shortcomings to teach me and to use for His ultimate glory.  He allowed me to be drawn into Him to realize that I was to blame, just as much as the situation I had become angered by.

There are so many things in life that can eat away at our hearts...but for me, anger is the most damaging and painful of all emotions to plague my heart.  It's okay to be upset or angry for a moment, but I must choose to forgive even when I don't want to and when my heart thinks it is undeserved.  Forgiveness is a representation of my love for Christ. He forgave...and therefore so must I.

I'm learning that the faster I go to God (instead of calling my wise, wise momma or one of my amazing girlfriends), with the situation or person that is tearing my heart apart and causing me pain, the quicker the matter is resolved within me.  Sure, I am still going to be emotional and have moments where I am struggling, I'm human.  The matter may not truly resolve and may even escalate...but the difference is I KNOW who holds all truth and I find peace amidst the storm.  He holds today, my tomorrows and my yesterdays.  I have seen His plan unfold in so many other areas of my life...I just need to remember to continually seek His plan. The perfect plan.

Blessings,
K