Love

Jesus loves me. He has been screaming it at me through the simple word...love. On the new album I'm listening to it's screaming at me to remember to let love be the loudest voice I hear. My quiet times with the Lord have been about His love. How my story matters. I matter. My children matter. My husband matters. You matter.

Sometimes though...the enemy comes to taunt me with the thought that if He really loved me and my Bug...He wouldn't allow what He has allowed. The enemy comes at me screaming to turn away. The enemy comes to cause me to give up hope when it's been continuous seizing for the past 3,120 days. The enemy says it will never end. The enemy tells me to be jealous of my other momma friends. The enemy tells me to doubt that I am loved. The enemy comes to destroy.

Then LOVE steps in. Love, my Jesus. The lover of my soul. The King of my heart. The answer to every one of my questions. The hope above all hopes. When I am surrounded by night and doubt and anger and confusion....LOVE steps in. Reminds me of each and every little joy that I have in my life. Reminds me of His sons gift to me on the cross. God's word uses the word love over 365+ times. He is telling me daily to surrender. Give in. Give my worry list, my anxiety, my devastation...give it to Him. Give it to love.

This morning my Bug was seizing...yet again. I was so quickly reminded that God was with her. He was loving her and holding her in a way that I can't. Love is present with her....always. I believe the thing I look forward to most of all when I am in heaven is seeing my Bug interact with her Creator. It is my deepest belief that she experiences His presence and love at the level I only hope to aspire to. She is His. His vessel. Loves vessel. She is made for so much more than I even grasp.

She was made to glorify her Maker. I was too. I'm working on letting LOVE be the loudest voice that I hear. Not to listen to the other voices. Love is the loudest voice Bug hears...I want to be like her.