When it’s too much…Jesus.

When it’s too much…Jesus.

Life can be so hard at times. A new diagnosis, the loss of a loved one, the fear of the unknown and for this momma the looming surgery facing my beautiful girl.

There is a Steven Curtis Chapman song that holds lyrics that have always resonated with me.  “This is not where we planned to be when we started this journey. But this is where we are and our God is in control. And we’ll sing holy, holy, holy is our God.” I’m waiting for the day when I one day see my girl walk and run, embrace me and say the words ‘I love you’, where she no longer suffers from seizures that cause her body and brain to not be able to do what she wants it to do.

If I’m honest there are moments I don’t even want to speak or to pray or to even have to get out of bed and do the “too much” for the day.  Yet at the very same time…I know without a shadow of a doubt that where the hard is…Jesus is there. My Jesus. The Savior I have come to know in such a huge way because of the life of the beautiful one that I get to mother. As she is, she has taught me more about life and of the beautiful sacrifice of the cross that Jesus died on than any other human being on this planet could ever begin to do. Following Christ is dying to yourself….and that can be so very hard to do. Parenting my girl has shown me how she allows God’s glory to be on display with her life just by enduring and living the life that He planned out for her. She doesn’t fight him, argue with him, run from him….in fact I truly believe she runs to him. I firmly believe that her conversations with Jesus are so profound and oh, how I wish that I had the privilege to be in on that sweet intimacy she has with Him.

This week I’ve struggled with carrying the knowledge of a very difficult surgery that will surely cause my girl immense pain—once again. It’s more than this momma can handle at times. When the burden becomes more than I can handle…I know Jesus will meet me there. He’s been there already. Nothing that this life throws at me is by surprise.  He is good. He is on the throne. He is worthy.

I’ve played Andrew Peterson’s newest song, “Is He Worthy?” at least 20+ times in the last few days. It’s my heart. I believe that He is Worthy. We are not made for this world and I’m trying to remind myself and my heart that fear is an emotion that lies and that worry only keeps me in the same place trusting myself—instead of trusting Jesus. The worthy One that has a plan and will make all things new and whole and perfect in it’s time.

So, if you are struggling too…with the hard, with the ugly and with the painful in your life…run towards it. Jesus is there. Jesus is always there…ready and waiting to carry you through it. For he is most assuredly worthy.

Much love,

KB